Can you truly imagine how mind numbingly debilitating it is to be a dreamer. And even worse, having the unrelenting addiction to over think any moment perceived blissfully to worthy for the likes of one’s self. Which incidentally, being me, is each and every one. By definition, I am in a state of complete irrational thought. But being so is implying that I am in a way of abnormal clarity, and utterly lacking sound judgment, and that’s the real problem! How is it, such an impossible irrational action could feel so, the norm, habitual even. What grips has a man truly have when his world is literally torn from it’s hedges and hung upside down by a thread, and all it seems to him is right; a kind of right he usually runs from in a guilty fear. What hope is there for sanity when one discovers that it is insanity which breaths of home?! 

There was only one dream in my life in which I felt there was some sort of power woven within, till last night that is. I was blinded with a light that drowned me so warmly. Though I could not see, I saw. I was being held in a women’s arms, her hand waving air on to my face as she begged me to wake. I tried to move, tried to tell her it was okay, but nothing obeyed. I felt unimaginably heavy with joy. As I laid there I realized it was the rightist I’ve ever felt, the greatest one could possibly hope to feel. I slowly emerged from the light and truly into her arms. In the dream I fell from the bed we were sharing, and onto the ground in disbelief, doubting what I knew was true. That moment I almost surrendered to, a moment I knew was wrong not to surrender to, was all from a single kiss… I jerked awake, my body still feeling the tingles of the light that once swam across my skin. And as I gasped for air, my body shaking from shock, I realized exactly what that light was, that feeling, that joy; strangely it frightened me for only a moment. (Careful how you translate that last, it never truly is as we perceive, anything worth wild never is.) My understanding of things have changed completely in color. I feel extremely motivated! And God, it’s only January?! Hahaha